Franny, Ro and Curly

Did you hear Rosie and Fran are getting a sitcom? No, Rosie Perez and Fran Lebowitz aren't updating "Chico and the Man". It'll be Rosie O'Donnell and Fran Drescher bringing VH1's idea of casting loud mouthed, past-their-primers to the world of scripted television. All that's known about the show is that it centers on three best friends, which begs the question "who will be cast as the third best friend?"


Deaf, Dumb & Blinds
Betty White plays an elderly woman who is slowly loosing her hearing. Instead of resigning herself to fate she decides to take a job in a store specializing in window treatments owned by Fran and Rosie. After her first day at work with the two she soon can't hurry her inevitable deafness along fast enough. [According to recent polling Betty White is currently the the answer of 71% of Americans to the answer "who is the old person you'd most like to carry around in your pocket?" She also still has her comedy chops.]


Leave It To Non-Gender Specific Euphemism For Genitalia or Two and a Half Half-Men
Rosie is a ftm transexual who is married to mtf transexual Fran. Before transitioning they gave birth to a child played by singer Antony Hegarty. Adorable lil' Tony gets into all sorts of cute hijinks while exploring the boundaries of gender, but Dod and Mam are always there to guide zer. Lou Reed guest stars as Uncle Jerry.


There Is No Justice
Patricia Heaton joins Fran and Rosie to form an all-female law firm, except ruh-oh! they don't see eye to eye on anything! The only thing liberal Ro and conservative Patty can agree on is that Fran needs to shut the fuck up and never laugh again.


Hell
This is Hell. Perez Hilton joins Fran and Rosie in Hell, and we're all doomed to it. Don't worry this show will only get green lit if John McCain gets elected President.

Kyle and Kristen Aim About Non-Anorexic Models

Kyle: Did you hear a model got sent home from Paris for gaining 5 lbs?
Kristen: What model?

Kyle: Her. This is the one show she got to do this season.
Kristen: WHAT A COW
Kyle: I know. If I look at her any longer I might loose 5 lbs just by barfing. If she looked in a mirror she'd do it the same thing and everything would be fine.
Kristen: Models aren't even pretty anymore.
Kyle: They all have architecture for faces.

[original story: Wasn't Skinny Supposed to Be Out of Fashion?]

on another thought: Balenciaga again got universal raves, which maybe it deserves, but the fact remains not a single one of those dresses could be worn with much else, especially body fat. Meanwhile Margiela got kind of "meh" response. I kind of though they'd look sexy on a fuller figer woman. (well first I thought they reminded me of the KRELwear get up I saw on the lead singer of Afrobeta last week.) The dresses themselves are flouncy and would hide a little bit of bulge, but they're still revealing. The layering of tights underneath reveals body shape, but not every flaw. It would look like what would happen if Beth Ditto had taste.

Photos from the 5th Annual International Noise Conference

I brought my Holga with me to the Churchill's two Saterdays ago for the final night of the 5th annual International Noise Conference. I May add a few more to more flickr eventually if I get the time to print them.

New Soles

are the new


The taste of people who spend too much time going to concerts and wearing skinny jeans have shifted in terms of corporately produced canvas footwear. Just letting old guys looking to be relevant, Nickelodeon Wardrobe masters, and sorierty chicks purposely trying to dodge the sorierty cliche know.

Obama Could Unite (The Greatest Comedy Team of our Generation)

SNL is looking for an actor to play Barack Obama, because the only black male cast mate is too fat and Maya Rudolph, who can play ANY RACE!, can't play a man. The obvious choice is of course Kel Mitchell, which would reunite the greatest comedy team of all time, or at least the greatest comedy team from Nickelodeon (same dif). Kenan and Kel! Awwww here it goes!!!!!!!

If Obama can do that, then maybe I really can hop aboard the blind hope express, after all. When we get down to the issues that really matter in this race, well I just don't see how Hillary could compete with that. She's have to bring back new episodes of Rocko's Modern Life, or get the endorsement of the giant ear of corn.


Kenan: I could've sworn I've seen you somewhere before.
Kel: Maybe I'm someone famous like a baseball player or a pretty nurse.
Kenan: What? What are you talking about?
Kel: Okay, I give up. Who am I?
Kenan: I don't know *who* you are or *where* I've seen you before or *why* you think you're an attractive nurse.


Who Loves Orange Soda? KEL LOVES ORANGE SODA!

Drake and Josh ain't got shit.

That'll be five bucks.

Take Our Money, But Not Our Votes

Amount of money raised in Florida by the Democratic candidates:
Clinton: $5,964,264
Obama: $3,553,548
source

Amount of delegates to be seated at the Democratic Nation Convention: 0

If you're a rich Floridian you got your say, but if you're an average Joe you got disenfranchised.

I think the original primary should stand: there was record turnout, all major candidates were on the ballot, and we've got youtube, blogs, and cable news now - do we need to suffer through a barrage of bumper stickers and blah blah speeches?

Coming to the Runway of Every Designer who Considers Themselves Edgey

Sort of awesome, but seriously: Coach sneakers?

I Wish I Had Paris Hilton's Jewel Jam

The boringness of my Environmental Politics class and the current ineptness of my laptop have conspired to make me a Bejewled master. How did I ever live with out cellphone games before? I just scored my highest score on action mode with 11,215! Oh yeah!

John McCain Looked Old Even When He Was Young

1. There is a McCain ad on Pitchfork, with a young McCain. It might be just contextual advertising because they carried a story about his daughter's music blog today, but the picture of him as a young man makes me think not.

2. Oh, hey Matmos has a new album coming out!

When You're Twenty One You're No Fun

Last time Ladytron came I didn't get my ticket in advanced. When we drove by Studio A and saw the line outside we didn't get out of the car. The only lines I like at Studio A are inside. Ayo. J/K. Seriously. Drugs are bad. Puns are worse.

I was excited when I heard they had another Miami gig coming up, but it's not until June 12. I graduate on May 9th and I HAVE NO IDEA what I'm going to do or where I'm going to be after that. It's less than 90 days away, and I've never been at a point where I don't have a general idea of what my life will be like in that time. Ugh life. I need to polish up my resume and get a nice interview suit.

Get Innocuous

I'm actually a little more pissed at the world because LCD Soundsystem lost the Grammy for best dance album to the Chemical Brothers than I am at the fact that Hillary lost every single primary this weekend (ugh, I am so sick of politics). Hillary vs Obama = lots of gray areas. LCD Soundsystem as the best album to get any Grammy nom this year, dance or not = fact.

Whatever. I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that far too many have come to before me: I should be the only person to vote on anything ever.

Moët Enters The Snark Age, Brings Sonic Youth Along

"Rachel Zoe was seen screaming and cursing because she couldn't get in [to the Marc Jacobs show]. She tried to fight her way in with through the bouncers but they pushed her back and she ran off to her town car while those inside were rocking to Sonic Youth and happily sipping Moët."

- From a PRESS RELEASE sent out by Moët, via Fashionista.

Are you kidding me? They sent this out so blatantly in a press release? Rachel Zoe, by the way, is the celeb stylist responsible for Nicole Richie style transformation and rumored drug fueled weight loss, and now works with every feather thin girl in Lalaland. Not an easy person to like (Nicole Richie fired her and dubbed her "Raisin Face"), and not someone I'm going to defend, but did a major luxury company just put out a press release with petty gossip in it?

Moët puts the Moët in LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton, the biggest purveyors of over priced la-de-das in the world. Marc Jacobs, when he's not dying his hair blue, fucking porn stars, or posing nude for fashion magazines finds time to be the creative director of Vuitton, and his Marc Jacobs show is the hottest ticket of NY Fashion Week. You'd think with all of that they'd have the class to let potential Perez Hilton filler fall beneath them. Or at least the sense to leak it a bit more discreetly. Of course Zoe just got a gig consulting on the revived, and potentially competing, Halston label, but na-na-na-boo-boo press releases are pretty ugly. Almost as ugly as half the crap LV slaps their monogram on.

And really? Did they have to drag Sonic Youth into this petty nonsense?

edit: Ugh, Apparently Kevin Federline was seated in the front row. So tacky. Such a gross combination of trying to be cool and desperately seeking blog approval. So shallow pretty much all of it. Why would Kim Gordan endorse all this?

Sorry About Your Eyeballs

You know what I really love? Super tacky, hyper colorful album art!




I keep a folder on my computer for these. One day I will post one thousand of them, and you'll never be able to see again.

List of Female Heads of State or Government Preceded By Their Husbands or Fathers

Behind the cut is a list of Female Heads of State and/or Government whose husbands or fathers were powerful Politicians. All but one of the men where either the Head of State or Government as well. The only case where this isn't true is when the husband, a leader of the opposition, was assassinated, which propelled his wife to her position. Obviously the list doesn't include cases of monarchy. I don't have the exact percentage, but these women account for a sizable chunk of the total number of female heads of State and Government through out history.

Soong Ching-ling - Chairmen of the Standing Committee of the National People's Congress 1981, Co-Acting Chairwoman of the People's Republic of China 1968-1972, Co-Vice Chairwoman of the People's Republic of China 1959-1975. Wife of Sun Yat-sen, President of the Republic of China 1912.

Isabel Martínez de Perón - 42nd President of Argentina and 28th Vice-President of Argentina. Wife of Juan Perón, 29th and 41st President of Argentina.

Corazon Aquino - 11th President of the Philippines. Wife of Benigno Aquino, Jr., assassinated Senator, and leader of the oppositioning to the regime that precedded his wife's.

Chandrika Kumaratunga - 5th President of Sri Lanka. Daughter of Solomon Bandaranaike, 4th Prime Minister of Ceylon (now Sri Lanka) and Sirimavo Bandaranaike (see below).

Sirimavo Bandaranaike - 7th Prime Minister of Ceylone, 9th and 15th Prime Minister of Sri Lanka. FWife of Solomon Bandaranaike (see above). First Female Prime Minister in the World.

Janet Jage - Prime Minister of Guyana 1997, President of Guyana 1997-1999. Wife of Cheddi Jagan, President of Guyana 1992-1997.

Mireya Moscoso (apparently a MDCC grad) - 22nd President of Panama. Wife of Arnulfo Aris, President of Panama 1940-1941, 1949-1951, and 1968.

Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo - 14th President of the Philippines. Daughter of Diosdado Macapagal, 9th President of the Philippines.

Megawati Sukarnoputri, 5th President of Indonesia. Daughter of Sukarno, 1st President of Indonesia.

Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, 55th President of Argentina. Wife of Néstor Kirchner, 54th President of Argentina.

Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf, member of Swiss Federal Council 2008-present. Daughter of Leon Schlumpf, member of Swiss Federal Council 1979-1987.

Benazir Bhutto, Prime Minister of Pakistan 1988-1990 and 1993-1996. Daughter of Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, President Minister of Pakistan 1971-1973, Prime Minister of Pakistan 1973-1977.

Indira Priyadarshini Gandhi, 4th Prime Minister of India. Daughter of Jawaharlal Nehru, 1st Prime Minister of India.

Sheikh Hasina, 10th Prime Minister of Bangladesh. Daughter of Sheikh Mujibur Rahman, 1st President of Bangladesh.

Stella Sigcau, Prime Minister of Transkei 1987. Daughter of Botha Sigcau, 1st President of Transkei.

Khaleda Zia, 9th, 10th, and 12th Prime Minister of Banladesh. Wife of Ziaur Rahman, 1977-1981.

The Reattatchments

I find myself attatching a couple of documents over and over again to different emails. Sometimes I'm not at home, and I have to go into my sent email, download them from there, and then reattatch them. Wouldn't it be nice if GMail gave you an option to browse files you've previously attatched, or atleast a handfull of favorites, and then let you attatch them in one click?

I don't read Life Hacker at all, so maybe someone has beat me to this idea and made it a reality.

Goodbye To The Stupid Things On Your Heads

The last 24 hours have seen the eliminatation of two of the more annoying competitors in the two most important competitions in our country. Though not the most annoying in either, as sadly we still have Huckabee and Christian.

Jill/Hill 2008

Love Pete Wentz, Hate Politicians

Why is Rolling Stone still in print? In their latest issue (there's been 1045 of these things) they pick people like Pete Wentz, Akon and Chris Daughtry as music "experts", while simultaneously tearing down both Barrack Obama and Hillary Clinton. This is their message: be unquestioning in what our major record labels put out, think everything our major politicians say are cold calculated lies.

Matt Taibbi, who wrote the aforementioned article (The New Nixon), cherry picks a few facts from the early chapters of the Hillary Bio A Woman In Charge to paint her as a Republican at heart, while leaving out tidbits like the fact she was a strong advocate for children's rights, and interned for a law firm with communist ties in her youth. Meanwhile he affirms that Obama "bared his vagina to the state of Nevada" and isn't quit black and manly enough for him. Clinton apparently is the new Nixon (cold and calculating) and Obama is the new Kennedy (superficial and running on image). Shut the fuck up Matt Taibbi. Politics is smoke and a joke, get used to it. Damn.

Meanwhile in the same issue you can turn to page 23 and learn all about The Jonas Brothers (Disney's Emo Heartthrobs)!

Street Jizz

Ssion is a cheap high. Totally fun the first few times, but doesn't exactly reveal deep layers of cosmic meaning on repeated use. Think Peaches. Pronounced "shun", they're a polysexual music/art/film collective from Kansas City, Mo, naturally. Fool's Gold is a nice combo of all those sounds that have been trendy lately, and hits a high point with "The Woman". Sung by a guest singer, who adopts a heavy european accent in the vein of Nina Hage, it starts out building up like a Le Tigre song that's going to drop some heavy feminism on the dance floor. A chorus of women chant "the women, all the womans", but never quit becomes a NOW theme song, and climaxes with this nuggest of wisdom: "I have one promise for you all: that not one of you will be left behind because every woman in the world ...is a woman!" Deep.

I Had Some Thoughts About Super Wednesday Morning

-When is Obama going to adopt Sam Cooke's "A Change Is Gonna Come" as his campaign song?

-NPR said in Cali men are voting 2-1 for Obama. Dear Media: a little less of the "if you don't vote for Obama you're a filthy racist", a little more "if you don't vote for Clinton you're a sexist pig". Gloria Steinham can't do it all on her own, and only so many people take her seriously anyway.

-McCain is a fucking war hero, has 25 years in congress, is funny on The Daily Show, is probably still secretly a moderate, championed campaign finance, is a white dude, was the favorite republican of the press and the anti-bush until like a year ago... Jezz, we are so fucked in November.

-Atleast we don't have to deal with a religious nut job this time. That alone is almost enough to make me believe in God.

-Hillary Clinton has a sense of humor, and her writer is better than the ones who normally do Us Fashion Police.

-I'm changing my resume to say change! change! change! all over it and "p.s. I'm not some bitch with baggage". You can hire me now.

-My best friend Leslie said "Oh she's just being Hillary". Any Hanna Montanna fans?

-Michelle Obama seems like a very nice lady. Am I denying myself the possibility of a Michelle presidency here?

-If Obama wins how the fuck is late night tv going to make fun of him? Doesn't anyone think about these things before they cast their vote?

-My new line for Obama's experience is three years and "change", ahahaha. Get it? Still, monologues are gonna either not be funny or slightly racist (so not funny).

-If Hillary doesn't, atleast we're adding Burial to WVUM rotation tomorrow. Finally. I am almost as excited for that.

-OMG, MSNBC just projected Clinton in California!!!!!! CNN TOO. Everyone!

-I am sorry for all those sorta mean things I said about Obama. I know how you feel, I was crushed when Moseley-Braun dropped out, and then Dean crashed and burned. I guess it's not "over", but God I hope it is. I need to blog about something else, and I am totally ignoring NY Fashion Week.

-Ugh, the delegates are just about tied. I hope I'm un-disenfranchised and they have to bring in Michigan and Florida as the tie-breakers.

Flaw Makers

I've been thinking about why I haven't been swept up in all the Obama craze. Perhaps it's because when I saw him at the Univision debate he wasn't having an on night. I was pretty disapointed, but that doesn't explain my growing enthusiasm for Hillary. My latest thinking is that I identify more with her because of her flaws.

Obama, personally, seems flawless. I mean he smokes and did coke. Boring, big deal. Hillary on the other hand has had every flaw pointed out in public for the last decade and a half, faced tons of hate, and somehow survived to run a serious presidential campaign. To me, that's really inspiring. She's not perfect in almost any measure, has a slightly fucked up family situation (even pre-Bill), and is just kind of an odd apple. I'm willing to admit that I identify with that.

Bob Herbet in the NY Times today commented on how Hillary supporters are more realists, and Barack supporters are more idealists. Maybe that doesn't extend outside of politics for everyone, but for me I think "realist" is a good way to describe the ways I judge a lot of things. So if Hillary supporters are, in this hackneyed thinking, more willing to admit flaws in themselves and others, are Obama supporters a bit more egotistical? I mean the man did run for the highest office in the land after only two years on the scene.

I don't mean to sound so down on Obama all the time. I honestly look forward to voting for him in 2016.

No Country For Old Bitches

Radar cover pitch: Ok, this month I think we should photoshop the renowned ice queen, who despite doing an excellent job everyone seems to love to hate, and frequently gets called a bitch (point to ponder: if she were a man would we think so negatively of her?) being upset by the less experienced, youthful hot shot who all the kids, and old people desperately trying to be cool love.

Radar editor: Yeah, but we had Hillary and Obama on the cover a few months ago.

Miami Beach Parking Isn't All That Bad

I went to the beach this afternoon, which has against all odds become a recent habit, and parked in the 17th street lot on South Beach. After increasing my chance of sun cancer and wrinkles for a few hours I came back, put my ticket in the on-foot-payment machine, paid the $5 and kind of threw it at my dashboard. It landed on the face of my huge gas gauge and slid half way in between the glass and plastic. Thinking "oh I better grab that before it slides all the way in" I went to grab it and, well obviously with my luck, it slid all the way in. My first instinct was to rip the cheap plastic around the thing off, so I did. I looked through and see it leads down to the floor, where I then looked (after ripping my dashboard apart mind you) and it wasn't there. I got into some ungodly position to look up through my dashboard (I may not have delicate fingers, but I'm flexible), and didn't see anything. I slipped an old receipt in to see where it might fall, and there's another path into God knows what. So now I'm like "fuck I'm going to have to pay the Twenty-some dollar lost ticket fee".

So I go up and tell the lady my unlikely story, she calls someone, who comes right away. He believes me and let's me go. Thank you Miami Beach Parking.