The Innermost Erotic Motorcycle Fantasies Of My High School Principal
Barron Collier High School has had it's share of totally jaw dropping scandals. Most of them involve NAMBLA.
To review: My Senior year one of the school board members got caught having an affair with a boy on his Son's (Columbine wannabe btw, but that's another story) baseball team, and then after it exploded in the press he shot himself in a play ground. A few years after I graduated my Band teacher Mr. Branson, a former district teacher of the year, got caught in a similar situation with a 13-year-old boy, and is now serving twelve years in jail. Of course these things come in threes, but this time around it has nothing to do with pedophilia, and everything to do with desperate middle-age motorcycle porn fantasies and hence is beyond hilarious. Thank God.
My High School Principal Ron Miller was really into Harleys. Every year at orientation he rode his through his gym, sometimes he'd ride it around the track at football games. Like most things that impresses jocks and dads it was really lame. Bikers are pretty much the saddest subculture. They all think they're rebels riding around on two wheels while society dictates they should be on four, but really can they find some fantasy game that doesn't burn so much oil? I mean we're facing an environmental crisis here, and let's not even get into why we're in Iraq. Play pirates or something. But back to Ronny, he got caught sending naughty emails to a biker chick through school computers. Here's some selected excerpts. *lol* dOn'T rEaD iF yOu JuSt aTe *lol*
Sad Bike Ho: "I love to ride Harleys. I consider them to be the worlds largest vibrator...Never finished riding that I didn't have at least one orgasms, usually I have three or four....I'm being a bit fast but then your a Harley owner too, and that syas something about you." ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
High School Principal: "Because that model of Harley vibrated more than the other and after 75 miles [ a female rider] would be ready to stop and be taken care of............!" ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
SBH: "Part of the customaization is a raised knob on the seat in just the right position to keep me happy. I rode to and from Sturgis in a perpetual state of arousal. Fortunately I road with a girl friend who was suffering as much as I was. You can guess what happened when we stopped at night." ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
SBH: "I climg on the bike facing you with my legs around your waist. So now instead of handle grips to hold on to, you have my boobs. And if possible I'll work your gear shift deep inside and make us bother happy, several times." ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
HSP: "when you climb on the bike this time I will provide the 'raised knob' that you can lower yourself on and grip the handle bars hard while I reach around and steady you holding your breasts." ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
SBH: "Maybe if we can find a rural road we can go for a midnight ride in that erotic position you described. I'll drive while you steer, kinda like plug and play, Hmmmmm??" ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
HSP: "since you have that lovely 'bikegirl' in you that I love I would assume that instead of "oral sex", I can just say "blowjob" or something like..... "as you suck my cock" ... this will be fun even though typing with one hand can take awhile!!! :)" super ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
SBH: "Gawd I have a huge wet spot in my jeans"
I think we all do at this point, but oh wait there's totally one more hot leathery quote:
"Persuant to School Board policy and administrative procedures, this e-mail system is the property of the School District of Collier County and to be used for official business only. In addition, all users are cautioned that messages sent through this system are subject to the Public Record Law of the State of Florida and also to review by the school system. There should be no expectation of privacy."
Which is at the end of every single fucking email he sends and receives. Holy Shit, what a fuckwad. Have you ever heard of hotmail? I guess Bikers are too busy spitting on the norms of proper middle adulthood to read warnings. Anyway this allows him to get caught, and also for the local paper to put the emails online as a pdf file.
Also there is no way this chick is for real. She must be a post-op tranny who ended up missing her penis, so naturally got herself a motorcycle a.k.a. super powerful pseudo-dick. Well, you can read more about here.
Related: My favorite history teacher just admitted to some light espionage work on behalf of the School Board. John C. Calhoooooooooooooon, indeed.
To review: My Senior year one of the school board members got caught having an affair with a boy on his Son's (Columbine wannabe btw, but that's another story) baseball team, and then after it exploded in the press he shot himself in a play ground. A few years after I graduated my Band teacher Mr. Branson, a former district teacher of the year, got caught in a similar situation with a 13-year-old boy, and is now serving twelve years in jail. Of course these things come in threes, but this time around it has nothing to do with pedophilia, and everything to do with desperate middle-age motorcycle porn fantasies and hence is beyond hilarious. Thank God.
My High School Principal Ron Miller was really into Harleys. Every year at orientation he rode his through his gym, sometimes he'd ride it around the track at football games. Like most things that impresses jocks and dads it was really lame. Bikers are pretty much the saddest subculture. They all think they're rebels riding around on two wheels while society dictates they should be on four, but really can they find some fantasy game that doesn't burn so much oil? I mean we're facing an environmental crisis here, and let's not even get into why we're in Iraq. Play pirates or something. But back to Ronny, he got caught sending naughty emails to a biker chick through school computers. Here's some selected excerpts. *lol* dOn'T rEaD iF yOu JuSt aTe *lol*
Sad Bike Ho: "I love to ride Harleys. I consider them to be the worlds largest vibrator...Never finished riding that I didn't have at least one orgasms, usually I have three or four....I'm being a bit fast but then your a Harley owner too, and that syas something about you." ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
High School Principal: "Because that model of Harley vibrated more than the other and after 75 miles [ a female rider] would be ready to stop and be taken care of............!" ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
SBH: "Part of the customaization is a raised knob on the seat in just the right position to keep me happy. I rode to and from Sturgis in a perpetual state of arousal. Fortunately I road with a girl friend who was suffering as much as I was. You can guess what happened when we stopped at night." ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
SBH: "I climg on the bike facing you with my legs around your waist. So now instead of handle grips to hold on to, you have my boobs. And if possible I'll work your gear shift deep inside and make us bother happy, several times." ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
HSP: "when you climb on the bike this time I will provide the 'raised knob' that you can lower yourself on and grip the handle bars hard while I reach around and steady you holding your breasts." ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
SBH: "Maybe if we can find a rural road we can go for a midnight ride in that erotic position you described. I'll drive while you steer, kinda like plug and play, Hmmmmm??" ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
HSP: "since you have that lovely 'bikegirl' in you that I love I would assume that instead of "oral sex", I can just say "blowjob" or something like..... "as you suck my cock" ... this will be fun even though typing with one hand can take awhile!!! :)" super ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
SBH: "Gawd I have a huge wet spot in my jeans"
I think we all do at this point, but oh wait there's totally one more hot leathery quote:
"Persuant to School Board policy and administrative procedures, this e-mail system is the property of the School District of Collier County and to be used for official business only. In addition, all users are cautioned that messages sent through this system are subject to the Public Record Law of the State of Florida and also to review by the school system. There should be no expectation of privacy."
Which is at the end of every single fucking email he sends and receives. Holy Shit, what a fuckwad. Have you ever heard of hotmail? I guess Bikers are too busy spitting on the norms of proper middle adulthood to read warnings. Anyway this allows him to get caught, and also for the local paper to put the emails online as a pdf file.
Also there is no way this chick is for real. She must be a post-op tranny who ended up missing her penis, so naturally got herself a motorcycle a.k.a. super powerful pseudo-dick. Well, you can read more about here.
Related: My favorite history teacher just admitted to some light espionage work on behalf of the School Board. John C. Calhoooooooooooooon, indeed.
posted by Kyle at
12:45 PM
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